this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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