I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
