I'm really into asian looking animals
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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