I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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