real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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