i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
