so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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