i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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