Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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