i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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