You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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