I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
