i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
