I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
