It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
