At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
