Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The power of my boobs compel you
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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