i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
