I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
