Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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