is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
