i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
