He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
