i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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