Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
