I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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