Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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