she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
