I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize