I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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