just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
