.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
