Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
