I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
