Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
