I'm going to rape someone's good day.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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