Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
