Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
