I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I love you. Go after that dick
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
