my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
