And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
