She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
