I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
