id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
