considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
that's an acceptable place to lick
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
