What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
