therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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