Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
try to milk me bitch
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