dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
