I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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