i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
