Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
