I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
