I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize