Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
