that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
