He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
