Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
