thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
