12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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