You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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