I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
