There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
