onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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